Tips your youth
Knowing what to say and to whom is incredibly important! Here are some tools to help you receive the help you seek.
When you’re in need to speak to an adult, it may be a good idea for you to start at home with your parents. Although sometimes it seems as though they may not listen to you, try it anyway! Speaking to them may prove to be more helpful than not. Remember… they used to be young too! They know the struggles that people your age have.
If you feel that you have tried this before and it didn’t work. Change your approach. Sometimes how we start a conversation can set the tone. Be honest, be open and most of all, be open to suggestions. You’re probably going to hear something that you may not want to. But, it’s for your benefit to listen to them and be respectful of their opinions and beliefs. Give it a try! What can it hurt?
When speaking to someone at home fails, we tend to rely on our peers or friends to take on that advisable position. Although this may be helpful at the time, the advice you may receive could lead to further issues in the future. There’s a perfectly understandable reason as to why this would be the case. When it comes to advice, experience and knowledge is the key. Although some of your friends may be in the same situation as you or perhaps has gone through the same thing before, their advice could be “one sided” or “skewed”. You see, when you’re young, your emotions are at their highest levels! You may experience a lot more anger and frustration and could possibly look for shortcuts to help with the anxiety you’re experiencing. As teenagers, your parents and other adults around you have been there too… BUT, their lives have now been shaped because of making such decisions and have suffered the consequences for their actions. This can help you skip out on some unnecessary pain and suffering.
So, although for some minor things, it could be a GREAT idea for you to speak to a friend your age, it’s always a better idea to speak to someone whom was there and overcame their adversity by focusing on different things or by setting goals for themselves. These people include adults in your community, like police officers, teachers, coaches, social workers, principals or perhaps a family friend that your family and you trust. Just remember that whatever you do, speak to someone! Getting the anxiety out is the BEST way to deal with a problem!
Whenever you feel as though you can’t talk to someone at home nor a friend, you can certainly reach out to an adult you and your family trusts. This includes people like your godparents, teachers, coaches, police officers, social workers and religious leaders. Everyone has been where you have and have somehow managed to overcome their adversities. Pay attention to their words and take them literally. Be ready to have questions. Ask as many as possible to make sense of what is being relayed to you. Keep your mind open at all times and be respectful. You’re from different generations so, some terms make not make sense to you and some (coming from you) may not make sense to them neither. Keep the communication open but don’t challenge their every word. Sharing personal encounters can be difficult and so being extra critical to what is being said, may cause the conversation to cease.
In some cases, your situation may be too difficult for one person to deal with. Sometimes the person that is trying to assist you, has to report to a higher authority about what is happening to you. PLEASE, don’t be afraid of this process! Sometimes it is NECESSARY to have the proper authorities involved to make sure of your safety! This is in NO WAY a destruction of your trust nor is it a betrayal towards you. This could be difficult to understand because you picture a million things happening in your head. The outcome may not always be a seemingly favorable one. But, if it means that you will be safer and healthier, you can bet that it will be for the best! DO NOT let the possibility of this happening be an obstacle for you! Everyone that is out to help you, will do JUST THAT... help you!
When it comes to dealing with a situation at hand, you may have internal conversations as you try to figure out what to do. “What should I do?” “Where should I go?” “Who should I talk to?” are some examples of what you may say to yourself. Sound familiar? Taking the “Lone Wolf” approach to a problem can seem to be a courageous way of solving it. Although this can be a good way to prove to yourself what you’re made of, it may also lead you into an unknown situation that you may have a harder time getting out of later.
The first thing you must do, is dig deep and figure out what level of difficulty your situation has. There are, generally speaking, three different levels of difficulty when it comes to problems you may encounter. They are as follows:
- Minimal – This would be an issue that you may have with a class in school. Or, you may have a small misunderstanding with someone at school.
- Medium – This would be a little bit of a harder situation to deal with such as: a fight in school, an argument with one of your parents, a misunderstanding with your significant other or if you’re just having a bad day!
- Difficult – This is more complicated than the rest. This situation is when some sort of unexpected trauma has happened. This includes situations of abuse of any sort. This also includes a sudden death in the family or a close friend. Teenage pregnancy can also fall into this category as well as an unexpected change in health or well-being. *These situations are ones that MUST be reported for your safety! Please, be sure to check the last tile labeled “What To Say To Adults You Trust”
Know that there is a VAST amount of scenarios that can fall between these categories OR can be TWO at once. Whichever it is, please keep in mind that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There are plenty of places and people that have made helping you, a PRIORITY and a PASSION!